I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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