I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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