I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
