No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
