everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
