How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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