Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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