bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
