Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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