Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
