Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
