It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
