your parents love me but you hate me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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