just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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