the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
