I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
