you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize