Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
40s are totally the cure
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
