i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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