So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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