Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
