; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
