She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
