she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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