please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
did i just pee glitter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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