Is it because I queefed?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
