oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
