Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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