is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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