She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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