the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
