weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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