After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
