ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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