i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
A+ Viking dick
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
