Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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