she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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