nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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