Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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