i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This is my gift to your gina
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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