You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
