you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
