Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
