Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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