I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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