hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
