Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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