i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
