we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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