hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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