he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
