Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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