she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
