Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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