Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
