operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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