Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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