I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
