Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
