I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
