After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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